It was a bleedin` magic night. Everybody who was anybody was there including, Adam, Bono, and Garret Fitzgerald gettin` there "phoho" taken for the Sunday World. There was even some royalty - Prince Charles and his floozy, Camilla Parker-Bowles. There was a mad rush as soon as the front door of the Elbow Inn was opened, but GOK was there in her all leather "Bouncer" outfit sportin` her Gary Glitter tattoos, and she beat everybody back with arms built like tree trunks and fists built like shovels. Deco, being an experienced store detective, helped her out by friskin` all the brazzers. When the Royal couple approached, Gok gladly gave Charles a good goin` over, while Deco got his first feel of royal knickers. The Flea Degrees were in their dressing room (the ladies jax) sweatin` bricks.... Similar posts

The two brazzers Mags and Caroline talked Sally into joining their new all-girl band The Flea Degrees……Meself and Deco have been workin’ our bollixes off all last night puttin’ up the posters of The Flea Degrees for yizzer mega-gig on next Tuesday. I hope yiz are goin’ to throw a few bob our way. At the very least, yiz better buy us a pint in Briody’s pub, and give us a free ride off each of yis. We went all over bleedin’ Dublin, includin’ : the 15th floor of Liberty Hall, over Clery’s Clock, the top floor of St. Laurences Mansions in Sheriff St., over the stalls in the Ivy Markets, and on top of the Zhivago, (Where Love Stories Begin) sign in Westmoreland Street. Deco sez his Ma is bringin’ a big contingent of oulwans from the Legion of Mary. I hope the practice... Similar posts

"Ma!, hey ma!, where`s me Top-of-the-Pops LP?"..."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m reading True Detective!"..."Ah jaysus Ma! I need it for a party in Deco`s house tonight."..."Wha! that snobby bitch of an oulwan of his wouldn’t let anyone inside her door!"...."Deco`s ma is going on a retreat to Lough Derg with the Legion of Mary, and he has an empty house!"...."Lough-bleedin`-Derg! She should be locked bleedin` up , scallywaggin` all over O`Connell street, with her cross and rosary beads, annoyin` us poor bleedin` brazzers with her God-fearin` ways!"...I arrive in Moore Street with the pram full of fruit and veg from the Smithfield markets to find Deco, Monica, Phil, and Mags hangin` out by Big Muriel and Cross-eyed-Eileen`s stalls....They were all celebrating Deco`s new Store Detective... Similar posts

Ma, hey ma! Where’s me Man. United tracksuit, I need it for Nocter’s pub. Will ye shut bleedin’ up! I’m trying to rob some shillin’s out of the gas meter. Ah Jaysus ma, I have to meet Deco and his new mot Monica, and bring them to meet me mot Ger in Sherrifer. “That’s not that brazzer wan who was going round without a screed a clothes on in Croker was it?”… I meet Deco and the posh mot outside Nocters and bring them into the flats to meet Ger. Monica nearly wets herself with fear as we manouver through the burnt-out cars. A raspy voice calls out from the 2nd floor balcony of St. Theresa’s Gardens, “Douglas!, Portia!, Come in for yissaw bread and oxuuuuuu!” We arrive at Ger’s flat and I shout in the open letterbox, “Bridie! Get yer knickers on, I have... Similar posts

"Ma, Hey Ma! Do ye have a Roches stores plastic bag. I need it for to carry me gear for me holliers in Glendalough?"...."Will ye shut bleedin` up! I`m tryin` to watch Tolka Row on the telly!"..."Ah Jayz ma, I have to get all me gear ready for the mornin`. I`m meetin` Caroline at the St. Kevins` bus stop on Stephen`s Green!"..."That brazzer from O`Devaney Gardens! Jaysus, would ye not get yerself a nice posh mot from Clontarf or somewhere?"....Next Morning I head down to the Green, and there’s Caroline with a big bleedin suitcase at the busstop..."Jaysus, were only goin` for the weekend!"...."Well I`m not like you, wearin the same jocks for a week!"..."Hey! Since we`re beside the Dandelion market, Do ye want to go in and get some frenchies, and you ask for them cause I’d be too... Similar posts

..Monday morning, I woke up and me noggin was bleedin` spinnin` from all the shandy I had in Noctor`s Pub in Sherriff street last night celebratin` the Dubs` victory in Croker... Ger even got up on the bar and did another strip, but this time all the blue paint was streamin’ down her body (and matched her mascara.)… "Ma, hey Ma!, where`s me wrangler parallels?"...."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m tryin` to listen to Marion Finucane on Morning Ireland!" I head into Moore street and see Phil and Mags beside Big Muriel`s stall..."What are ye sellin` today Phil?"...."Teeshirts, and there goin` like bleedin` hotcakes, Here have a look!"....He holds one up to reveal a pair of diddies painted on ...one navy and the other sky blue, and underneath a caption that read ..."Dublin Brazzer 1...... Similar posts

So there I was standin` outside the Carlton cinema all decked out in me Gary Glitter outfit, with a package of Perri crisps in one hand and a Dunnes Stores plastic bag containing 4 teatowels and a bra in the other, waiting on the Cabra bus, when along comes the mad oulwan with the cross..."How`s yer dingdong luv?"..."Ah it`s grand ever since ye gave me that hand massage outside McDowells, the happy ring house"..."I hope yer goin` to mass every Sunday?"… .."Sure I`m just after coming from the Pro-Cathedral, where I lit a candle for the Dubs. for their big match in Croker on Sunday!" ...."Ah fair bleedin` play to ye. I hate those bleedin` Kerry culchies, and is’nt Brian Mullins a bleedin` hunk?"..."The Jacks are back mam, the Jacks are back."...The bus pulls in at Carnlough road about... Similar posts

.."Ma, Hey Ma, where`s me silver Gary Glitter outfit and me gold platform shoes?"..."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m tryin` to watch QuickSilver with Bunny Carr!". "Ah Jayz ma, I have to meet me mot at 8!"..."If I ever see that brazzer from Cabra `round here, I`ll bleedin` reef her “. I hop on the 53 bus and go upstairs to have a sweet Afton (makin` sure on the way not to crease me Gary Glitter outfit). All the oulwans were upstairs on their way to the Macushla Ballroom for the bingo...They all started slaggin` me..."Hey Gary, D`ye wanna be in our gang!". So I stood up at the top of the bus and gave them an impromptu session... "Come on Come on, Come on Come on". That made their bleedin` night for them. On me way up Marlborough street to catch the Cabra bus, I decided to stop into the... Similar posts

.After the meal, I decided to go home and change, and meet everybody in the Abbey Mooney pub at 9pm....So I head out of the flats and over Johnny Cullen`s hill to East Wall....."Ma, Hey Ma!..Where`s me white ShowaddyWaddy suit and black bumper sneakers?"..."Will ye shut bleedin` up, I`m tryin` to watch Coronation Street...Hilda(Ogden) is makin` a chip buttie for Eddie(Yates)."..."Ah Jayz ma, I have to meet me mot at 9pm."..."I hope yer not still seein` that brazzer from Cabra...Go and get yerself a nice country girl, those brazzers will never cook for ye or wash yer jocks!" So I arrive in the Abbey Mooney to see the three of them already on their third pint. "I see I have a bit of catchin` up to do with yiz!"...As soon as we got inside the door of the National, Ger (as usual) sez to... Similar posts